I just started crying when I read your post. I just know, from my own perspective, that having the kids made going through all of this a little bit easier. At the beginning of the summer, my H wanted more time with the girls. It is just one more night every week and an additional night every other weekend. Not that bad, but I still hate it.
I don't know that I have great advice. Yes, I would avoid the court system if possible. I also wouldn't talk to them in a manner in which they would feel guilt. They really are in the middle and you don't know how the discussion went with their mother - if guilt played a role in that. But with all of this being said - I do think that kids need both their parents and the schedule that you described simply isn't enough and isn't healthy for your kids.
Again - I don't know that I have any magic words for you. I just wanted to let you know that I was so sorry about the situation you are in now. Please try and take care of yourself.
