A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Shake up day for H.

My father arrived with a truck, but there were a few things that had to go into H's house. One of them ought to help take the shock out of the rest. I bought a really amazing MAN grill last year because I can't stand doing steaks or burgers under the broiler. The company (Vermont Castings) was going out of business, so I got a grill normally selling for upwards of $800 for about $250. He will love the heck out of that grill.

The shake up is that even though only a small amount of my stuff came into the house (most of which was actually kidlet's stuff), psychologically I bet this will feel like I'm moving back in and may create a freak out.

Additionally he hates chaos in his environment and he got a bunch today as I had to stack kidlet's boxes in the guest room b/c kidlet's room is not ready to take them. My exercise bike is in two peices in the dining room, etc.

And tomorrow, my cat will arrive.

This morning was interesting, too. H got up very early for a Saturday - about 6:15 am. And he went to his computer. I've had other times where I wondered if he was contacting OW and for the bulk of those (of not all) I decided he wasn't. This time felt a lil different. The activity woke me up, and when I went to the bathroom, I saw him closing his email window. I then went to the master bed and slept til 8 am, but by the time I went kidlet was up and I don't know if H would get into a complicated email or chat session w/her with kidlet in the room. Kidlet's desk is less than 3 feet from H and kidlet reads at the 9th grade level and FAST too.

Later during the morning, he began measuring various spaces in the office. He said it was making him uncomfortable to have people walking around and such behind him. Now, it's possible this is totally legit. He's been living in that house pretty much alone for two years except for short visitations. But for the last two months, he's had kidlet, me and FIL to deal with so that's been a pretty big change for him. And while it's true that he's never liked people looking over his shoulder, part of me wonders if he's feeling some heat about reduced computer contact with OW.

If he is, GOOD!!

See, even not knowing her, I would guess that she's felt the pullback and might be pressuring him for more contact. Much as I don't like distressing another human being (her), there needs to be MORE discomfort in that particular relationship. In fact, I hope I stay in the house long enough that she ends it with him. The tone for this is not snarky, btw - it's straight up and rational.

She took a risk getting involved with a man who was still married and the risk may not pay off. For the record, she's going through a contested divorce herself. All I know about it is that her H suffered a head injury in an accident and somehow 'it changed him'. So she's divorcing him, and he's fighting it. The cynical part of me is looking at that and saying, "Wow. So much for that whole 'in sickness and in health' thing, huh?" I suppose it's possible that it made him violent or unable to care for himself or something but it's really none of my affair (literally!).

Here's the benefit of all of this for me. The old me would have moved that stuff in and then let it sit. And sit. And sit sit sit. I have a golden opportunity to demonstrate a 180 by processing those boxes quickly and not letting the clutter annoy H. It won't be an overnight thing because kidlet's room needs to be excavated first (with a frigggen backhoe!), but even if he just sees me working on it, it will be good.

Re: the truck - I don't know how we did it, but we got everything from a 14 foot Uhaul into a 5x10 storage unit. I am sure we contravened at least one law of nature...