Thank you marriedCrazy. Do you still have any desire to remain married to your wife?
I have minimal desire to keep my family together but really no desire to remain married to her. The only reason that we are not divorced yet is that she is pregnant with OM's child and the state normally will not allow a D to go through the court when the wife is pregnant. My L says that I could do it; but it might be costlier for me in the end. So we are waiting until her "love child" is born and paternity established. It isn't mine; I'm "neutered" and we haven't been together for over a year now.
We are getting divorced but we remain on friendly terms. Partly because I decided to "let go and let God" handle this affair. I've taken charge of my life and the things that I can control. I make sure that our kids are taken care of; all of that gives me peace. I've also established a social life outside of the house and have realized my own self-worth that was decimated by three years of dealing with her crap.
Don't let yourself feel guilty or responsible for her well-being mentally. Ultimately, your W will do what she wants to do. She may start counseling with one person; only to quit when it gets to personal or it hurts too much. Then she'll switch to another counselor until the same thing happens. Take care of you and your kids. You cannot control your W nor can you "fix" her. She has to do these things on her own.
Only you can decide when you've had enough. It took me three years and a LOT OF MONEY before I finally threw in the towel. It's been the best thing for me. I've have regained my identity and am happier than I've been in a long time. The weirdest byproduct of all this is that the W and I are getting along great now. But I cannot go back to a M with her; she hasn't healed from all of her past hurt and still shows selfish tendencies.
Be wary of your wife's actions. As they say, believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see. Especially with people with mental disorders; they are master manipulators. I'm not saying your W is that; but if you believe in odds, beware.
I'll be reading your thread for a while. I'm not here often; but I do have a thread over in Infidelity. Find me if you need me.
