WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

The boys and I had a lot of fun with my friends and his family. My 7 year old crashed his bike though and scrapped his chin. My first though, once I realized he was ok, was that the pig will use this against me in custody. Fortunately my buddy got the whole thing on video as we were videoing the kids using their bikes.

We wound up going swimmng as well. The kids had a blast.

It turned crappy when the kids were showing afterwards, my 7 year old was getting really on edge. I asked him what was wrong and he lost it. He said he was sad that mommy wasn't coming home. I gave him a hug and told him that I love him and I was sorry about what was going on. I told up that daddy is really sad and hurt too. I told him that it helps daddy to talk about it and if he wants to talk about it, daddy would love to talk to him about it. He said he knows but he didn't want to talk about it any more

My friends saw how upset he was and asked what happened. I told them and they both could not believe how selfish she was acting. I had to agree. It still hurts and I'm disgusted and mad, but the waves comes and go. I do look back at all that people have said to me to help me cope/deal. I know I need to focus on what I still have, not what I have lost

I just hope my boys can understand that too

She didn't call today at all. I was actually relieved that she didn't as I don't want to hear from her. I'm dreading tomorrow as it was a nice escape for the boys and I but we do have to go home. What's worst is that she will take them omortow evening. I know that the boys need to see their mom but I get sick thinking of her kissin the boys knowing what she has done with her mouth as well as what's been going on in her apartment

I think I'm going to puke