Just thinking though ... it's a while since my H has mentioned D. However, with his other threats, I could adapt this scenario, as could we all!
Glad that you are off out for some more pampering today - manicure and pedicure - you are pushing the boat out! This 'feeling good' will help you to deal with H in a far more tolerable way, when he gets home.
I have recently adopted the practise of putting on my best undies when I know that H is coming around. I know that it won't get me anywhere as he won't see them but it makes me feel good inside - and about myself. When he then goes on the attack, I think of my 'sexy self' and it keeps me calm and able to not react to his vitriolic comments. It certainly worked the last time he came over and he said that we had managed to be 'reasonable' together, despite that his parting shot was to disrupt the atmosphere ... thanks to some good advice here, I have a coping strategy for that next time, too! It's all coming together - now I just have to believe that it will work :o)
Today, I'm trying to pull myself out of the doldrums but it's not boding well. I'm gonna have a mooch about day ... I started re-arranging furniture but that didn't do it for me (it's still only just 7am and the cats are running for cover as they don't get what's going on)! I have therefore decided to stop that and do something more positive and work on clearing up in our office.
When H left, I threw things into boxes, moved his desk and it's all stayed that way since. I am going to clear that situation today - it's only something small but it will be enough to make an impact on him next week - I think! I'm also going to look for some of his things to place around the house (if there's any left that he hasn't taken with him) - he accused me of it looking like he didn't live here as there was no trace of him around the place. I am going to try to right that too (saying that, there's nothing much of me here either - it's all US stuff - you know, homemaking; pictures, photoframes and candles ... still, what there is, I am going to put away to emphasise that this is still HIS home, as much as it ever was.
Let me know how the 'homecoming' goes with your H and how you handle it - are you prepared? (((hugs and BIG support)))
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
