Responding to what you posted on MB's thread. I know there is a way for me to "quote box" is - but we know my learning curves on the quote sitch!!!
Is he crazy?
Yes. Not just regular, oh, my X is crazy. But diagnosed DSMIV crazy. On and off meds, he'll be pretty quiet, and then something sets him off, and BAM!!
He really snapped when I decided I was done - it was bad, and then I was looking into a TRO, and my friend, who's a police officer, went and told him, and explained what that would mean to him - and he backed off.
I've held off, because I was hoping he'd get healthy. But, I've decided that it's time. I don't want to cause him trouble or embarrassment, but it's really not Me causing him trouble. He's causing himself trouble, as usual.
That's why I like to get out of town when I can. Such a great feeling not to have to carry pepper spray, keep a loaded gun on my nightstand, and just always waiting, because I know he'll show up sooner or later.
It's time to proceed, this has been going on since I kicked him, his porn, his strippers, his OW and his alcohol out of my home and our (kids and I) lives.
But I'm done waiting for the other shoe to drop. Especially since he will bother me at work, since it's the one place he knows exactly where and when I'll be. I deserve to feel safe. And even though I'll still be keeping my eyes open, and I'll still have my gun loaded (crack shot, by the way), if he pulls either of what he did yesterday, he'll go to jail.
So, we're thinking along the same line.
After I called the police, I was sitting at the bottom of my stairs, holding my gun, talking to the 911 operator, and I just had the realization that I'm TIRED of this. It takes valuable energy, energy that I need for MY life, the people I love. I won't give any more energy to a person I do not love.
I'm afraid of him, and I've been operating out of that fear, and it stops today. Actually Monday, when I file the paperwork.
You'll have fun at Twist 'n Shout. I'm going to see Julie/Julia w/my good friend. Her husband died 12.26.07. Very sudden - and sad.
Great, friend just called and has to perform emergency surgery - movie cancelled.
Anyway, sorry this is so long.
My daughters always say that my life should be a reality show -- moving toward a non-reality show life!!
