I have just been in a funk this week I guess. I have been doing some reading here off and on, but not much posting. I have also been to the MB site and doing some reading there also.
I am staying home for the second weekend in a row. When he is out, I try not to think about the where and the who. This one is not the one I want anyway.
Still can't figure out what's going on with H. He came right home from work every night this week. He even passed me on the way home one night as I was sitting at a stop sign. He waved, beat me home, and carried groceries in for me. There was so much normalcy during the week THEN last night he didn't come home until 11:30. I did leave the front lights on for him. I still have a problem with that though. It's always a should I or shouldn't I whenever I go to bed. If I leave them on, am I giving him a message that I agree to his out and about prob with skank. Or turn them off with a H#*% with you attitude. I had to remind myself about the unconditional love GOD wants me to have for him.
I don't know if there is any trouble in paradise or not. I no longer do any snooping what so ever. I find it's better for my PMA.
He has been home so far today. I want so much to be in a Peaceful place. Wondering if he is leaving any minute puts me on edge. I want our M life back. I want our weekends back. I want him to take ME places again.
I need to stop looking at the situation and glancing at GOD instead of glancing at GOD and looking at the situation.
