trying to be strong and patient 14

[karen43]

Yup, H must think that its pretty bad that you are willing to stand up for your D!

It seems like you are playing their games rather nicely by giving them 2 weeks.

Thanks so much for saying that, br! My primary goal is to do the best for the kids, although I know H's main focus is the $$, I try to just not think about that, but what's best for the kids. I do have a tendency to do what others want me to do, but I'm trying to be strong for the kids. I worry about putting D9 into that sitch, may not be good for her, but hopefully 2 weeks will not harm her too much, and that gives them a chance to do the right thing, which several have told me they are going to do. Well, if they do great, and if not, I'll pull her out.

I've also told S15 we will try high school for 3 months and at the time of the final hearing we will discuss how it's going, if he's happy with high school or mostly ok with it (nobody loves it all the time), then he will stick with that. If he's miserable as he was the first time in school, I told him I will fight for him to homeschool if that's what he wants.

I've started applying to school jobs in the area. Unfortunately, they've had tons of layoffs in this area the past year or 2, but you never know. I'll keep at it. I plan to volunteer at both schools also, so maybe somebody at one of the schools can help put in a good word for me. I would volunteer anyway though, I like to do that stuff anyway, but an extra benefit if that helps in anyway.

A weird thing about the day is we did sit together and interact as a family. We started out sitting on opposite sides of the kids on the one assembly. One thing that's weird, and I'm guessing it happens to everyone after 23 years together, is that when someone would make a joke or comment (about working for the schools you get to pick any school in the county!) we would look at each other and smile. Weird, huh. H always tries to act distant or angry when I'm around, had his book and blackberry constantly the first half hour or so. But I'm like a puppy my personality, so it's hard to do that I would think. So we actually got alone fine the rest of the time.

H tells me he had a talk with S15 about drugs/alcohol. I said oh I thought you had the other talk. He said sex? I said yeah. He said he hasn't. (S15 is developmentally delayed a couple years, but still at age of 12 or 13 year old and now starting high school so I think it's time.) I told him he has to do the talk with S15 and I do the one with S9 (in a few years). I said that's how it works. He said that's how it works huh? I said yep.

At the 2nd orientation, the kids started following H around and then I noticed I was kind of doing the same, hanging around him like I used to. at myself! I walked off in the direction of some other parents there, and started having some great chats. One was a female police officer, and turns out H came over and was frenemies with her (from how they acted). I am one of those people that will chat with anyone, but they were friendly back and everything. Then the kids started drifting over to me too, and I noticed H drifted over to us a couple times too. So feel good I broke that old dynamic up as much as I could.

They left before me and i went off to say hi to my friend that teaches there, and then ran into another friend and chatted with her too. H and kids were waiting for me in the parking lot, b/c I forgot their backpacks were in my car. (H has a spare key though so don't know why he didn't open it and help himself-I have no problems with that.) I apologized for forgetting their packs, but H was acting fine about it. No big upset over that. Probably still happy over getting his way with the kids. Karen

Karen