Congrats, Mac. Enjoy the heck out of it and know that any little bumps in the future will be just that - little - compared to what you've already been through.
(Now please send summa that mojo my way!!)
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I can't begin to express my thanks for all the group hugs. Every single one was saved and used at the right time. All the advice has sunk in and will be used at the right time. Every single prayer said is beamed right back at you.
Twilight Zone moving off into the background. Apart from this one single thing....
The very day (yesterday - Friday 20th August 2009 @ aprox 8:00pm) my W & I got back together. The very same day the DB books arrived in my local Post Office. I knew Michele was good but this? To bizarre to contemplate.
And I know you're all just dying to find out what happened so....
I had a great day at work. The text messages happened. And I decided not to respond. Boy was that hard.
The minute I got home, my cell started ringing. It was a blocked call so I hadn't a clue who it was. Normally I wouldn't have answered - lets face it I'd finished work and wanted to relax and work on my own "things".
But I answered. Turn's out to be main - the chap who bought the W the meal and had the evening with her. He told me a hole stack of surprising things.
Top of the list was that he's gently been talking to my W at every single opportunity and guiding her gently through this mess. This is after I mistakenly thought he only ever talked normal stuff with her. He told me she was deeply unhappy STILL and that she was very slowly wafting her way out of this fog we all keep talking about.
It turns out that the W's best friend has also been doing this throughout the last three months.
Guys - this was not done in a blatant "get yourself home" way. It was done with compassion and understanding. It was done through the love they hold for both of us.
So - onward through the night.
Went to my local flea pit (Mac going to the pub? Never!). Feeling on top of the world.
Saw "friends" car parked outside. What the heck - not going to let it bother me.
Went in, bought a bottle of my favorite tipple (imported from Namibia - not the local crud)
Bought four tickets for the prize draw and proceeded to have a good chat to one and all.
I could see the "friend" with the usual clique. And she kept glancing over at me. Weird.
So - drinking, smoking, chatting, enjoying. I finished the last cigarette and threw the pack away. The the head barman gave his usual shout at 6:30 - "Get your tickets out". And I realized I'd thrown them in the bin with the empty cig packet!!!!
So I shouted to one of the bar ladies who went digging through the bottles and found the thing scrunched up and there were the tickets. So I shouted that if I won, she would get half. BIG laughs from all except one. I'll let you guess who. Not impressed. The bar lady is quiet a stunner (nowhere near as stunning as mine though).
First prize - meat pack. Not won. Second prize - Bottle of Bells. WON!!!!!! And now I have to share. Not so. Bar lady said it was fine. I was going to leave it behind the bar for the W with a note "To the best W in the world from the crappiest H". HA!!!
Then saw that go-between had arrived and was chatting to "friend" so off I go to join in. "Friend" leaves. Go-between say's she and boyfriend were off the the Pizza pub. I decided to accept the invite and tag along.
Had a great time. Danced a little bit with a few of the ladies. Was in a VERY positive and happy mood. Told go-between about the days happenings. For some reason she told me that the W was at BIL's house.
I have no idea why but I sent a couple of text messages to the W. The final one saying "Want me to pick you up from BIL. Just say yes and lets get on with it;-)". Got in the car and started driving without waiting for an answer.
Just round the corner I get back "Who says to you that I am here".
My reply "Not saying - on my way!"
And back to me "It is ok. Dont worry. SIL said she will bring me round tomorrow"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And back to her - "To late. Round corner. Listen for horn. Yeeehaaa"
Pulled up and there was SIL standing in the street with the biggest smile on her face. Got out of the car and hugged so very hard. She said I was the luckiest man in the world and to take it easy.
Luck? Maybe a tiny bit. You lot know what really went on "behind the scenes".
Walked into the house. Greeted all the family and friends. And went into the arms of my W. RELIEF. INTENSE RELIEF.
We had a wonderful night chatting. W brought up the if she came back (yeah right - if!) there were conditions. I said fine because I had some of my own. More talk. Then a text from go-between. I hadn't paid my bar tab and my Pizza was still there. W said "go, eat" and "if you want to come back here and eat.."
Drove like a shot back. "Friend" was at bar. Bought round of drinks. Had a big kiss from one of the bar ladies. And had a chat with "friend". She just KNEW this was going to happen. And the result. She just KNEW.
Drove back to house. Shared Pizza. Was invited to watch hockey tomorrow (this morning). W nearly came home. But stayed. She's been sleeping on the couch in BIL's house for the past week. THEN I knew why "friend" was unhappy. The perfect partnership had cracked under the pressure.
W was going to sleep one last time on couch with BIL's S.
Tender parting. Off home. Shouting at the top of my lungs in the car. YEAH!!!!
A hole STACK of text's in the next hour in bed. Back and forward, back and forward. Just like in the very begginging.
And so here we are on the most perfect of mornings. Very bleary eyed. Was asleep very late and awake at the crack of dawn. But I don't care.
I'm off to hockey. Then sort out the W. She's been so worried about telling "friend" she's picking her stuff up!!!. She needn't be. And then this afternoon... Rugby @ 3 WITH THE FAM and W!!! And then off to my W's local to meet the regulars!!!! She's working 5 to 1 shift. And she'll have lots of new customers I promise.
HUGS ONE AND ALL!!!!
Oh, and Dia is quite right - Party at Macs house and you're all invited! Anytime.
Just a message for all that read the three month saga of a prat (me) and a pillock (W). (Rays of Hope - Thaw approaching by my humble self Mac-CT)
If any of you get some sort of help from this thread then it's all been worthwhile.
Be aware that no matter how rough things look they will get better.
I've been to the pits of hell. Totally alone. Cut off. No communication. Everything sent into a black hole. Or so I thought. There are friends. And there are "friends". Maybe it seemed at times like I was dealing with another woman in my life. And I think I was. The most convoluted threesome in history.
And you know what? We (W & I) came right. People will help - it's in their nature. Some won't but the majority will. Even though they don't realize it. They cannot do otherwise.
You have some great on-line friends here. I've made some that I'll never forget. They have my undying gratitude for the support and 2 x 4's that occasionally headed my way.
Some have been here a long time and have "seen the worst". Some sadly have just made it here (you must thank your lucky stars that you did). And everyone is pulling together for the same goal. The saving of a Marriage. Of a shared life.
Guys (and Gals), hang in there, look after yourself above all else, then family, then friends, then the world. You have to believe that in doing this things WILL WORK OUT.
Mac, you are good for this board! You make people feel good through your writing skills and I believe that is a gift. So, I hope you will continue to give to the people here.
I am glad to hear that you are returning to your spiritual upbringing. A broken or troubled M will often do that for the LBS and I know of no stronger power to draw from than God's. When we trust in Him to supply what we need to face what we must....He will not forsaken His children. Our job is to make sure "we" are where we should be in our R with Him and then we can rely on Him to come through for us. I can tell you Mac, that God has done that over and over in my life and I don't know where I would be today without Him.
God has a plan for your life, so be open to whatever and however he leads.....but remember if it doesn't seem to "line up" with the things of God, then it probably isn't from Him. Know what I mean? It has to be the right thing done in the right way.
Take care Mac.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
