Jak, I think I've also mastered the art of detachment, though of course it waxes and wanes. I get unbalanced and have to remind myself often to get back on track.
The challenge will be to hold onto the space I've created this year for myself. This seems like a healthier place to be. Even with the significant marital problems, I seem to be happier than I've ever been.
There will be trial and error in terms of connecting with my W. She will have to work to some extent. I think boundaries on her part with other men and respectful communication are a good foundation. Without that, there is no moving forward. I'm at a place where I'm fine either way.
She is eager to plan a trip to Puerto Rico in January. I've consented to go, and will likely take a week off, and take the risk of committing to this trip, even though the track record this year would indicate I probably shouldn't go. I think this is her way of trying to connect with me.
I'm finding journaling to be very helpful. I found a technique in a book that is helpful. The book is The New Diary, by Tristine Rainer. It's called dialogue. I create anyone or anything to dialgoue with. It can be a real person, someone I've never met, a celebrity, God, an aspect of myself, the devil. I've been talking to a minister and a therapist.
It helps to articulate the swirl of thoughts and emotions going on in my head, and clarify what's going on. I don't limit myself to relational problems, but include anything I'm struggling with. I write about whatever is on my mind.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
