PS Guys, please, respect his wife. What is this BS about being M and dating? The woman was an LBS that did all she could. And I dont think any of us can blame her for moving on with her life. If she was posting here, what would you advise HER to do AFTER she felt calm and maybe happy?
I don't know about everyone else but I have tons of respect for my wife. I also feel that it's not fair to the kids to immerse them in OM's life and family, etc. so quickly. That's been the only issue on the table here as far as I know. She was very specific and demanding with me about introducing OW to my kids. In fact she suspected me of doing so even though I had already ended it (once I left we didn't communicate about OW anymore at all). So I didn't come the conclusion about the kids without much thought, deliberation and consultation with my C and C's colleagues who specialize in children. I've read many books trying to understand separation and divorce.
In my heart I don't believe that W would ever do anything to jeopardize kids on purpose. When talked about the kid thing and immersing them into OM's life too quickly, we cried together and she said she was just doing the best that she could do. I believe her. She said that she did not know how to reverse out of the situation she had gotten into. I understand that. Honestly, when I came back into the scene begging forgiveness and wrecking everything, he turned the heat way up. He put more pressure on her and he made plans for her and the kids non-stop. Immersed them in his entire family. Told his kids that they were dating. She is still in a tough state emotionally and doesn't seem to be able to say know very easily. I have no idea how aggressive or controlling this other guy is. Either way I made the sitch even worse.
Everything you said about W is true. I left, I forced her to move on, she should feel no guilt. But I still pray every night that she can find it in her heart to forgive and trust me again.
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
