This may be a contradiction but it seems like when I detach, i.e. a month ago I was moving forward with the D, I felt wonderful.
No, it doesn't sound like a contradiction. It is the wonderful reprieve from having your heart and mind smacked around like a tether ball.
The card bothered you cuz you're human but you know you shouldn't have said anything or put her on the spot. She said the card was for the project and I would believe that (being really straight with you here). But that little comment was a bit needy.
Take it from me and I pass NO judgement because I readily ate the morsels that H gave me for a long time. Only you can decide which path to take. Either one requires you to refrain from making comments like that and a degree of detachment. One path is to completely move on and cut her down to only "friendy" talk limited to kids/finances and you keep it brief and end convos first. Other path is to do no pursuing but try to build on the R you have with no expectations. I think either path is very challenging but have found much more peace and progress in my life with detaching and moving on...it doesn't mean I don't care, it means I am dealing with reality.
I support you doing either one. Just know that the building path is so slow and you have to really be disciplined and give it time.
I am more in the Gucci camp at this point (at least in my sitch). I spent many months trying the other and I am moving on with my life and with the D and if reality changes, perhaps I will reconsider but it will be my choice...
