Issues: He did not initiate intimacy, was always me. when I asked him why, he said he was afraid of rejection. He didn't like the 'emotional drama' of teaching. I would bring home my work, as a teacher, and talk WAY too much about it. He said we didn't talk enough about HIS work. I didn't know enough about his company. He said we didn't talk enough about whether he should buy it and what the responsibilities of that decision would bring. He said I was too frugal. He said I could be negative and angry. He admits to being a horrible communicator and didn't address any of the issues with me, so I just kept going along on my merry way not knowing of his building anger and resentment. He had a HORRIBLE childhood and feels those issues are now surfacing...
What do I need to work on? Lots....and I am. I have spent months beating myself up for not realizing what he needed and I didn't provide. I married an amazing man and really, really want to spend my life with him....
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Can't I put the divorce on hold when we go to the initial conference? That was my plan...to tell the judge we are going to try and reconcile. I want to leave this marriage (hopefully not) with NO regrets.
Can I do that even if my h wants to continue on with the divorce?
Yes, my facebook is Lynn Molitor-Gordon, not too much there.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
I want to be one of those people who makes it out on the other side.....I've always said that. However, the lies and deception are very difficult to take and stab at my heart.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Yes, I am sure you can tell the Judge at the conference.
This is why when I posted to you a few weeks ago, I knew it was too soon and you were running on pure emotion not on common sense.
You can tell the Judge you are concerned about the finances, and perhaps come to some sort of agreement.
Yes, the lies and the deception are both difficult to deal with, but if you can begin to work on yourself and stop making the focus and reason of your very being, your Husband, you will begin to feel better.
Start by practicing forgiveness, a little bit each day.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Yes, BND you are correct. It's interesting, that's what he complained about....I didn't make the focus and reason enough on him and now that's all I think about. Not having kids and having mostly married friends, it's pretty tough not to do that.
My facebook page is very lame...not much there to look at.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
