Sorry about you finding out what you did. It has to hurt, and I feel bad for you. I work in the medical field, and I deal with people daily who are scared of getting bad news...of finding out something bad. I tell them "it's what you DON'T know that can really hurt you...once you find out what you're dealing with...THEN you can do something about it." You've taken some hard licks, and you took another one when you found out about this. I'm sorry for ya'. Get outside there this weekend in that beautiful place where you live and escape...let all other thoughts and stresses get pounded into the pavement/trail. While you're out there, you can 'own' something that's uniquely yours, and connect with something so much bigger! The exertion, the view, the feeling, the run...get that peace of mind. The 'plan' is for you to be happy and fulfilled...with or without him! Live!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
