I posted about my situation in a prior post but my question is this..I have accused my husband of cheating for YEARS. From day 1...He has said I have never trusted him. This is partly true. My question is..if he thinks I will never trust him no matter what he says how do I show him I trust him after 10 years of accusations? Is it too late?
Consistent actions based on what you said you were going to do. Don't repeat the patterns that your husband says are not trusting him.
Has he ever cheated on you?
Do you know why you are so jealous and insecure in your marriage?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
You don't have to show him trust if he hasn't actually earned it. He hasn't done a whole lot to reassure you that he never had anything with OW. His suddenly say ILYBINILWY is, as far as I'm concerned, reason enough not to trust. Men frequently are cheating or at least want to by the time they drop the bomb.
That being said, your behavior over the past 10 years of accusations is wrong. You can choose to swallow your accusations. You can just make the assumption that he isn't cheating and go forward with your life as though he isn't. You've lost a lot by your continued suspicions and won't lose a whole lot more to just say, "I can't control that anyway. Accusing him doesn't work. So I might as well just treat him as though he has my trust and if I'm fooled, I guess I lived and learned."
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
That is very insightful and so true. Thank you so much for your advice. He did a lot of things that made me not trust him early on in our relationship. His alcoholism does not help to build trust as well. I think that combined with a low self esteem created these issues with trust.
Part of me wonders if the ilybinilwy had to do with the heart to heart with his sister or if he is really cheating. I dont know. I never will. I have no proof. So I will have to just trust for now because really at this point I have nothing to lose. He has one foot out the door.
