Faith: I read it and it makes alot of sense. Well she certainly is doing a good job of it. I saw one her friends today at the healthclub. My W actually told her I wish he would cheat on me or beat me. It would make it easier." I just think she will just wait this out till she breaks me. Till I can't take it anymore.
Today is one of those days where I just want to end the marriage as well. End the pain, End the insomnia. End the acting happy in front of her. Find love again. I am doing my best to be a better person, find things to make me happy, doing many more things with my sons. The only time she engages me in any meaningful conversation is when she is complaning about another friend who is ignoring her. I am starting to feel the love I have for her slip away..I so want this to work. I know if I want to, I will have to go it alone for sometime. I just have to continue to find the strength to continue this fight to save the marriage. It is just painful everyday knowing my W doesn't love me or does not want to be married to me anymore. Her soul has no more love for me...
I just had to leave this morning. I couldn't look at her or talk to her. I'm sure she will ask when I get home, is something wrong. That has to be the biggest insult she can give me right now. Anyway, today is a bad day. I am sure tomorrow will be better..
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
