And as for the "work" thing...I think the expectation that it will never feel like work is just infantile. Try caring for someone through illness or taking care of everything while one partner is away half the year or nursing twins while running a business and still making time for a spouse.
For MOST women I know, relationships within the context of a family, take what feels like WORK, gratifying work.
Perhaps, for men, when it feels too much like work they bail (statistically, they tend to leave when W gets sick or after second baby etc)...
Maybe we all define "work" differently but there is nothing wrong with work in a R, so long as it is fun (sometimes), gratifying and balanced. IMO.
