All I was saying Gucc, is that I know women who lament the pain their children went through and the difficult lifestyle that comes with divorce. I have a dear friend who went through divorce over 22 years ago, her kids are grown and doing well, she is thriving, spiritual and still very much in love with her current husband. Still, when we have spoken about what I'm going through, she suggested that even though he left her for another woman, she sometimes wondered if she shouldn't have tried harder to work it out (when he tried to come back). Now that was what she told me the first time my H left. This time, she has told me she would rather be face down in a gutter than deal with this sh*t. So, there you go. You can have more than one feeling about these huge life altering events.
I am telling you, as a woman, and a woman with many female friends, there are always lingering feelings of doubt or at least pensiveness with regard to the destruction of a marriage. My mother is happily remarried to my wonderful step-dad (over 25 yrs) but when we talk about her divorce from my father, the struggle and the loss washes over her.
There is so much more to a family coming apart than getting turned on or even fulfilled by another guy.
And, while to me, Gucci, you give some of the best advice here, there is no reason for you to disregard what I am saying. You are a) a man and b) you are not living in a divorce situation in which your kids are struggling with the changes, your finances are hit and your extended families and friends are all affected.
And, my only point was that the biggest hook for HER is her family and the lure of the possibility of that life she envisioned when she walked down the aisle. It may not be for every woman, but for most it is very compelling.
