Young couple in need of help

[Stronger]

Here are your options, don't reply at all.

Option two Reply with this:
You are right. He should not see that.

If she replies after that SAY NOTHING. But it be used as an opportunity to AGREE with her, take her wind away.

[sumguy27]

I don't know it seems like if I answer her it might lead to something else.

[Virtually_Handsome]

Good thinking.

Don't answer! It's a trap!

[MrBond]

rabbitae86,

You've been getting some great advice here.

First and foremost rule of DB. DO NOT bring up the R. PERIOD.

Definitely don't bring your clans into this because that'll just piss her off even more.

Make the changes you need to and SHOW her.

My W is the same way in terms of being not emotionally open. Just take it one day at a time and change yourself. If she criticizes you reading, so what? It's for you after all.

Be the father that you want your kids to look up to.

[sumguy27]

gosh I miss the family right now. I miss my kids and I miss her. Its so hard not to try and call her.

[Stronger]

This is why you MUST get a life of your own. Take this time and really work on you and do some things you've been thinking about doing or stopped, or whatever. If you are interested in it, do it. I don't care if it's learning how to make ice sculptures, do it.

Here's some more advice and do with it what you want or will....
When she lashes out, You and I are done, so stop bothering me. You say I'm sorry you feel this way. But we do have to still work together for our kids and make sure they are provided for. They'll have more and better if we can work as a team. For now, take the focus off of "saving the marriage" and let her know your main concern now are the kids and making sure they are good.

The great things here is you want to make this work. So calm down, learn how to be the mature one here. I think you already are, but you can take it to the next level. Be a sexy strong confident man.

[sumguy27]

Thanks Stronger.

This is our conversation so far this morning:

me:
I need $70 for the insurance its due
W:
wat...you never even made it clear for me about everything?
(I did she just doesn't remember because of the fight)
me:
Ok will we need to talk and we should go have dinner or something somewhere not your place. So we can discuss theses issues and only these issues.
(we have always fought at her place. I figured if we are not in the same environment we won't fight about the same issues and she probably won't make a scene in public. Its in DB forgot what chapter.)
W:
OMG how many times are we gonna talk n discuss when we cant even do that sh*t?
Me:
This time lets both stay on topic. when and where would you like to meet? Just don't bring it up and I won't bring it up.
W:Fine when? So you gonna help me pay 4 a the ticket then?
(appearntly she said I was the cause of this citation she recieved 2 weeks ago. We were arguing and she was driving like crazy but did not get a speeding ticket, she got a dark tint ticket. I have always told her since we have owned that vehicle for the past 6 years its going to happen one of these days and I should take it off. She likes the tint and said it won't ever happen. Well it did.)
M:
Tonight I'm going to see a counselor so I won't be available after work. It would be best for tomorrow so I can go through everything. Please find a sitter. We will discuss the ticket tomorrow also.

[volleydog]

I think you did well, keep it up just like that. IF she insists on bring up things other than what was agreed upon, try and get her back on track...If that doesn't work leave some cash on the table and say something like when you're ready to talk about x,y and z ONLY let me know and walk away.

[volleydog]

One other thing why would you help with the ticket, her life her problem...

[sumguy27]

One other thing why would you help with the ticket, her life her problem...

Exactly my thought. I think she still has this comfort zone of me paying for her bills. She wanted me out of her life then she needs to pay. Also she has planned a trip to visit family in Atlanta next weekend. So I think she wants me to pay for it so she has extra spending money. I'm just going to tell her I'm sorry but I didn't get the ticket and its your responsiblity.