Two twins walk into a bar and see a single attractive woman......twins identical in all ways including wealth and careers. The only difference being that one twins is confident that he can be something to women. The second believes he has nothing to offer to women. Who walks out with the single woman? When I started my journey...my wife hit me with the "You are so unattractive". So being a person similar to yourself, I set out on a path the find out why I was so unattractive (I have since learned the truth about her statement, but that is another story). I had a good career, didn't drink, cheat, or cause disharmony in the house. Tried to help out the best I could including serving on my wife hand and foot. I took it to far...women may say they want what I described above, but only to a point. I talked with many females friends and their reply was simple. " We want this, but we also want a man who is confident...not cocky...confident". It was amazing to hear from many women how unimportant looks are in comparison to confidence. You need to change your mindset from "I offer nothing to women" to "I have a lot to offer". I have actually tested this mentality....I have gone into a bar thinking "I can offer any woman in here something" with my head up and chest pumped up and within minutes was talking to new women. I have also walked into the same bar feeling down and only wanting a quiet seat at the bar...and on those nights not a single woman talked to me.
In you, I see an unconfident man, who has no reason to be. In your wife I see a controlling woman and though you have set boundaries (raising your son)...she sets the rules that you have to obey. Even worse...you set the rules that limit your ability to live your life (been there...lol). I really think your SSM is not the problem...only a symptom. Your wife is content in the situation because she has set her boundaries and will not bend them. You can't control, fix, or change that....only she can and she doesn't have a reason to. When was the last time you did something for yourself? Not work related, helping others, or for your wife. I mean just for you...playing music, walking a beach, or working out. Why not try a simple experiment....today is Friday..go out to dinner and movie this evening by yourself. Don't invite your wife...just do it for you. If she asks...tell her you went out for dinner and a movie by yourself. Be honest and tell her the truth....on your pseudo escape commit to two things; 1)-Commit to making your waitress smile 5 times 2)-Say hello to 5 strangers while maintaining eye contact...even if it just a hello as you walk past each other.
Tell us all how you feel tomorrow.....I CHALLENGE you to do this...Honestly I don't think you can, but maybe you can surprise me with some spontaneity.
