Point of this post? Many of us put TOO MUCH BLAME on ourselves. OK...I'm not going backwards and saying, "Aha....we did nothing. We are perfect." But, as time has gone on, I see clearly now that the person I married was a mask of something underneath.
It was totally pathologic for my STBXW to go over to my sister's house yesterday with my BIL:
it was a violation of her personal space
it created confusion among my two cousins
it was a loud message of FU to both of us
it clearly shows that the two of them are in cohoots..to..whatever degree
clearly, it shows extreme selfishness on STBXW's part to do this right now
I feel worse for my sis than I do, at all, for me. I didn't say anything to my kids. They DID tell me that they went over and saw "Uncle Adam" for the first time in a year. He is NOT their uncle anymore, but, I said nothing to reverse that. I WILL correct it when this is all over and we are divided.
In addition, my STBXW wrote PARAGRAPHS about me sleeping with the kids and how she had to have temporary custody to 'protect S8'. Well, can you imagine the urge to control to not take photos of HER SLEEPING WITH THE KIDS FOR THE LAST THREE NIGHTS?
No...not doing it. Not going there. Not ramping up the tension. Yada yada. This just needs to get done.
After 3 years, this still blows me away....how different a person she is...or...should I say how I missed who she really was. Ow.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
