Hey, Cat, Thanks for posting to me! I like visitors. Thank you for saying that I have grown. Sometimes I wonder, myself, but I haven't gone back and re-read my threads or journals (no desire to revisit all of that at present), and it's hard to get that perspective otherwise.
I don't think my H wanted to "rescue" me, although he has a history of doing that in the past (he is totally convinced that he is codependent [which may or may not be true], and has been trying to break out of that codependency by pushing me away...and hooking up with a very young, needy OW). He has even told me basically that my well-being is no longer his responsibility (although of course I have been at this too long to take anything he says at face value).
It's definitely a combination of MLC madness/selfishness ("I want what I want when I want it, and I don't care what effect it might have on anyone else") and testing me. This is one of the ways that I do get hints of how much I have succeeded in changing: I don't react to him much at all any more, and haven't for quite a while. At least not to him directly, or to anyone else that I don't feel is "safe." I no longer say anything at all to him about suicide or depression unless he asks, and then I keep it extremely short and sweet and as calm and positive as possible. I rarely showed a lot of temper pre-bomb, but I did have passive-agressive issues, was mopey and sad a lot, and I did dole out a certain amount of criticism and requests for him to change. No more!
Hope that answers your question!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Thank you for saying that I have grown. Sometimes I wonder, myself, but I haven't gone back and re-read my threads or journals (no desire to revisit all of that at present), and it's hard to get that perspective otherwise.
