Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

[Jayce]

TEGH: Have you ever heard of the phenomena of someone who is so smart they think they can't make a mistake? It is not uncommon. The person who does this typically disregards advice, warning signs, even personal past experience. Posessing a high IQ, a particular talent or skill, maybe experience or education in a specific area, they occasionally just blow it because they couldn't conceive of themselves making a mistake. Some of them do it regularly. Some learn from their mistakes. A humbling experience, I assure you.

You are way above average in intelligence. You love teaching, solving problems others see as exceedingly complex and discussing your competency and accomplishments. You love being in demand and traveling, functioning as an expert in your field. You love the sound of your own voice. You love expressing yourself in words, sentences, paragraphs that justify your feeling undeservedly martyred.

You evidently learned nothing about yourself from counseling. Nor from rereading your postings here. You may be "right", you may have "nothing wrong" with you, but to her you're not and you do. You obviously don't want to gain insight since you refuse to read books written for that express purpose. You seem to want someone to yell at your wife, give her a wake-up call, make her change rather than do it yourself. She's obviously accomplished at passive resistance and punishment. Why would she want to do that to you? Are you that big a disappointment to her? In what way? For how long? What signs have you missed? Is it fixable? Is she that angry at you? Why? Is she tired of hearing you exercise your voice?

You have to change yourself before you can change anyone else. Think about that therapy again, reread your posts OBJECTIVELY. Start a journal for your own eyes only. Be truthful with yourself. Read it thru after 3 months or so. Let us know what you figure out. We can't do it for you.
Jayce