GG,
I don't have a current thread right now, most of mine are in the MLC archives.

All I can tell you is that my Husband was one of the worst MLC'ers here.

Filing for a Divorce would have been the easy way out, I know.

It would have saved me from the emotional turmoil that MLC brought into my life, as well as the financial strain and the stress of being a single Mother.

But for me, I knew that the man my Husband had become was not normal. He was the complete opposite of the Man I had married.
I think that this is what made me stand, the idea that he was mentally ill and didn't really get that he was destroying his life and his family.

There were no guarantees that he would ever snap out if it, but I wanted to try and wait it out.

The idea of protecting yourself financially is very important, my Husband completely ruined our credit, wiped out our retirement and caused alot of debt.

This can be done with a separation agreement, not a Divorce.

I didn't listen to the advice of others here when they warned me to protect myself financially.

My Husband had always been so responsible in that area.

Being still and not provoking him will gain you alot of peace and reduce the metal anguish you are under.

Learning to listen to what he is saying and keeping your mouth shut will make a huge difference.

I am not making excuses for his affair and his stupidity.

I am however telling you that if you want a chance to save this Marriage you had better put on the brakes and take a step back.

Many people in my life told me I was totally insane to try and save my Marriage.
I was pretty much abandoned by my friends and family because they thought I was basically punishing myself and the children by living in false hope.

My in-laws turned their backs on me and the children, after 20 years of being a part of our lives. Blood is thicker than water.

There are many here who do believe in standing for a Marriage, seek them out for encouragement.

But it is gruelling and hard and not for everyone.

It can suck the life out of you if you let it.

(((((hugs))))

There can be no testimony without a test.
I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.