yeah well.... its very hard to with the kids getting blown off. I just had to call her so the younger daughter could talk to her. I really have found myself from day one as a person who would rather have gone dark. (my natural reaction and even the consoler told us we should not talk and have space... she refused!) and if she saw what she missed then she would do the work to work on the M. right now its just sad.
she said thanks for calling her and letting her talk to younger D I said ok, and I would talk to her next week.. (she is going on another mini vacation this weekend) she did her okayyy???and i said well Im a little upset you forgot the kids again. just like when they were in school still and you were blowing them off. she said "it's not that i forgot them" You dont understand I have alot on my mind and going on. I told her well you have no responcabilitys now so I really dont see how you can do this. she said well I do and i will explain next week.
I dont think she see's just how serious i am about giving up on this for awhile letting me have my space. it's like she just wont let me heal. I would love to have the M back but I dont see what is wrong with allowing time. allowing her to see what she is missing. letting me see if I really do miss her ect.
I wonder if it would be a good idea next week if I just tell her flat out "You know I have thought about this for a long time, what I need to do Is have my space. I need an indefinant amount of time to myself. I need to see if I miss you or just the thought of what was."
