Divorce not busted 3

[Orich]

I kinda feel like I've been beaten up a little bit. I was going to take a break from this forum, but it is too important to me.
Look, I have been through a divorce that happened because my wife cheated on me. It was a very traumatic experience for me as I loved my ex-wife very much. After I found out about the affair, I realized there were signs that I missed because I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to believe that the woman I love most in the world would betray me. I didn't want to see them. But they were there.
Now, I have posted things here about my W and her relations with a childhood friend with whom she dated on and off in high school. She remained friends with him since. Yeah, some of her actions seemed fishy, but she also has been under a lot of stress and possible depression. I also have an old female friend who went through a divorce the same time I did. Back then, there were no texting cell phones. But we spent hours on the regular phone. Now, I text her very often, she has moved across the state. She is happily married now. We text a lot, and even phone a lot. I have no desire to have an affair with her, nor does she with me. Granted, I am not the one who is unhappy in my marriage.
For every argument that my W is having an affair, I have a counter argument that she is not. I'm not going to keep writing them out here.
So, I have lived through a marriage and divorce with an adulterous spouse. I have that experience. I have a good idea what to look for, and I don't see it here.
What I do see is a woman who is hurting and most likely doesn't realize it. She has lost her mother and very close sister in law. She has dealt with a second bankruptcy claim, and a husband who did not step up to the plate in a time of crisis. She has had serious post partum depression after the birth of our first child. All of this, and more small things weighing on a person who self-admittedly does not handle stress well.
I contributed as much to the problems of this M as she has. I have tried very hard to own up to that fact. In my W's mind, it may be too late. But I am trying damn hard to do the right and necessary thing to help her heal and hopefully repair our marriage. I know part of that process is improving myself, and I think I have made at least some progress there
This is the route I am going to save my marriage. You better believe I am doing the best possible things I can for me, my wife, and my children.
At this point, yeah, she still has the power to influence my mood. I am hurt, sad, and pissed off. But at home she sees a relatively happy, well adjusted man who loves his family and can't get enough of his kids. And soon, I am going to BE that happy man who can't get enough of his kids, and yes, God willing, his wife, too.
Thank you all very much for all of your responses to my posts and your advice, and your concern. All of you. I will continue to choose which advice to follow as I see best that fits my situation, but will welcome all advice. I would appreciate some people keeping apparent agendas out of the process.
In the end, I will be fine. I know that. I didn't think I would ever recover from my divorce from my first wife. I requested desk duty at work and voluntarily turned in my weapons for a short period of time. I moved back in with my parents and was miserable. But I pulled out of it, and that was without support from people like you in a forum like this.
So, again, thank you, and please continue to pray for me and read and respond to my posts, as I will continue to do the same for yours. As Robert DeNiro said in one of my favorite movies, "Brazil", "remember, we're all in this together."