Oz, I agree with Cas on the laundry etc. If he weren't going off on his own very soon it would be more of a question mark, but as it is, I would say keep that stuff status quo.
On the insurance, just say no. Avoid confrontation if reasonably possible. If it keeps coming up later you may have to get hard-nosed about it, especially if the alternative is to get sucked into an insurance scam which he has deluded himself into believing is a good idea (I think it a pretty safe bet that what he has in mind is seriously illegal), but for now, just keep it short and sweet.
Hang in there!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
Thanks I will just say no to the insurance claim. I would not have agreed to it anyway, I'm certainly not into doing things like that, unfortunately karma always comes back around and gets you and that is something I do not want. I just wasn't too sure if to just say no or if I had to validate my reason for saying no, not that I should have to give a reason to not agreeing to do that.
I'm sure he has worked out in his tiny tiny brain that this is a good idea for some mad reason, but I am not going along for the ride on this one.
Just came back from dinner, now feeling flat, even though dinner was great, when everyone is going home as a couple and you are going home alone it is then that it hits hard and I feel so alone.
Have to go out again soon to pick D up from the movies.
Last time I went to a wedding I said I'd never go alone again. Guess what? I have a wedding in September and I'm going alone!
Perhaps we need to have a plan for what we will do when we get home like have a mug of hot chocolate or a Baileys or watch a movie(added the movie cos I was heading towards a packet of Tim Tams!)...something to look forward to rather than a cold, empty house.
I know for me one of the things that helps with the "going home alone" thing is that my cats are always here to make me feel welcome! The other thing is that I don't leave very often in the first place!
Peace, Dawn
Me 45/H 47, no kids Together since 1985; M/1992 Bomb1 (EA-OW1, age 22) 2001 Bomb2 (EA/PA-OW2, age 22) 10/2007, A continues H left 11/24/08 minimal contact, no legal action http://tinyurl.com/DawnHope1
I guess it is one more thing I will have learn to deal with once H is not around on a daily basis. Don't mention Tim Tams Cas, I don't keep them in the house for that reason.
I have the cat and dog to come home to which is lovely and they are so happy to see me, but it is the company of H that I am missing and it is starting to hit hard, the next week is going to be hard as it is the last week we will spend in our house together as a couple and I know that the next phase of DBing is going to be harder and I will have that awkward moment of when he leaves Friday after the move knowing that he fully intends never to return. That is a frightening concept to me.
I have the cat and dog to come home to which is lovely and they are so happy to see me, but it is the company of H that I am missing and it is starting to hit hard, the next week is going to be hard as it is the last week we will spend in our house together as a couple and I know that the next phase of DBing is going to be harder and I will have that awkward moment of when he leaves Friday after the move knowing that he fully intends never to return. That is a frightening concept to me.
Remember, believe none of what they say and half of what they actually DO.
Now...maybe it's just me, but I find it curious that your H is waiting to leave until the move. He could have already left, but here he is, peeking over your shoulder at night to try to see what you're doing on the computer. I suspect your reaction is puzzling to him too...remember, the first step is to get them to start thinking and questioning their decision, and I'd bet the farm he's got interesting thoughts swirling in that head of his.
He's not done. Has he said he wants a D? Or just some notion that he wants to go live the glorious (ramen-eating, farting and scratching his naughty bits) life of a middle aged bachelor?
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
He hasn't mentioned anything about a D just about me deserving better and I should find someone who can love me..... etc etc.
He just wants to live alone and not be accountable to anyone and yes all of what you said (he is already sitting there scratching you know what, farting in bed something he never did before).
Funny about the believing none of what they say, he wants to be alone but goes to the football last night with 3 mates, arranges a jet ski weekend away but with as many people as he can get to go with him. Yeah really wants to be alone, not.
Oz
I don't think he is really done either, if he wanted to go he could have done it at any time.
Just replied to his email regarding the insurance claim. I simply said "No", I didn't give a reason or include any other chit chat, he is at work today so will have received it by now.
Once I get D to work this morning, I will be turning up the music and getting stuck into packing, what a job.
Your H wants to be alone but organises group activities- my H told me he didn't want to be with me cos we had nothing in common. Then he's in a relationship with someone who has much less in common. What they say is just so contradictory. Happy Packing!
