Fascinating stuff, Jeff...miss a little, miss a lot!
FashionBarbie (to be), MB--I'll join the midwest trio. But I may not get permission to join, I am not an E. Just a lowly B...
Love Preschool too. It is the "red-headed stepchild" in education, as they say. At least around these parts. Preschool teachers aren't 'real' teachers, you know...because finger paint and play-do are part of the supplies, you cannot be taken seriously.
Jeff-
How goes it? I am fighting the urge for Cherry Coke. I may fall off the pop wagon... I will be starting in on the paperwork any time now myself. Silly me! Should have done it over summer break instead of waiting until school started.
You are a great flirt. I wonder, do the people around you (work, friends) notice how you have come out of your shell in the past year or so? Amazing how freeing it is when you don't have to walk on eggshells anymore.
Ha - yes, red headed step child. I'm a red headed EC teacher. Having a very frustrating start of the school year. My classroom got moved - AGAIN - three times in the last five years- I know you know how THAT goes. Anyway, if you want that backstory - some of it's here, and some's on MB's thread. Pre-school is univerally disprespected, it's not just in your parts, unfortunately. I had an offer to move up to ECK and really struggled, to be an actual bona-fide grade level!! Dare to dream. But my passion is pre-school, so buckle up for another adventure filled year.
Today, she asked me for the number for the director of preschool and I SO wanted to say (perMB) 1800GOF*CKYOURSELF. Did not.
We'd love to have you join our Midwest Trio. And we need a B cup -- MB's a C -- Stronger's a D -- and I'm an E. Hmmmm perhaps we've stumbled onto a brilliant new strategy to teach the alphabet!! We need an A - one will stumble on here sooner or later. Also, are you a brunette? We could use one of those, too.
My FashionBarbie status will hopefully be approved by tomorrow.
I'm trying to get caught up on your sitch, I have to say I'm worried about you. Unlike most of the H's here, yours seems dangerous. Watch yourself, protect your son. I hope to finish catchng up by tomorrow. Not that I'm a font of wisdom by any mean, but I get a bad vibe about Dan.
I'm fighting the urge for a Peanut Buster Parfait!!
Okay, kicking all these rowdy teenagers out of my house, so I can sleep!!
I figured. I have been reading Jeff's posts for about 18 months now, and I saw where you referred to AN...I will have to check your thread.
I have never feared my safety with him, nor that of my kids, but I know, never say never.
Sorry, I am a natural born blonde. It turned dirty blonde/light brown as I grew up, but I just got a fresh set of blonde highlights yesterday, so I am a 60% blonde...I did graduate Magna Cum Laude so I am not the ditzy blonde type.
Btw thanks for getting me thinking of ice cream! I will resist...
I see so many similarities as far as the cheating, porn addicition, cheating, victim mentality, lashing out.
This is a man in extreme pain, and in order to avoid getting to the bottom of it, he uses his A's, strippers, porn to soothe himself. Does he drink/drug?
Unfortunately, you've been drawn into this unhealthy relationship, and he is very dependent on the dynamic he has with you. He is afraid of losing you, afraid of being with you, afraid, afraid, afraid. He's dealing from a place of pain and fear -- not a good place to be in.
I like him to a plane in a holding pattern, circling the airport. Going in circles, and he thinks he's getting somewhere just because he's moving, but he's not getting anywhere.
Until you detach from him, you're not getting anywhere either. You're stuck in the holding pattern with him. You need to be moving forward, for you and for your children.
The reason I referred to him being dangerous, because my X snapped when I finally had enough. Started stalking me, threatening me, he was drinking heavily, and heavily armed. It went on for months, and only when one of my friends (police officer) went and told him to knock it off, or I'd get a restraining order. And how ugly that would be, could lose his job, etc.
I don't have all the answers, just be very careful. Dan is a narcisstic, misogynist - has he ever been diagnosed -- personality disorder??
Are you getting C? I know how the stripper, porn crap tears you down and messes with your body image and sexuality. For heaven's sake, I'm a 32E and my H wanted me go get IMPLANTS, so I'd look more like his fave porn star/stripper, whatever. They make us feel that there's something wrong w/us - and THERE IS NOT! And someone who treats you so cruelly has very little care or concern for you.
Has he ever pressured you to have sex w/other couples or men? That was the end for me. Actually, mine told me he'd like to watch someone rape me. Nice, and that's with him knowing that I was sexually assaulted, strangled and left for dead when I was 18.
He's using you, you're one of his "addictions".
I'm praying for you and yours.
And I hope that you're feeling great about you. You're doing well, you're getting there.
Sorry to post so long - your sitch is bringing back some things that I'm working hard to put FIRMLY behind me.
Hopefully the next time I post, it'll be as FashionBarbie!!!
(((((((BobbiJo))))))) I don't know if a lot of people have noticed how I've changed.... I don't have a lot of friends, at work or in the real world. I need to do something about that, but that's almost harder than DBing for me!
I noticed that when I am meeting people in real life after getting to know them a bit on-line I have been much less introverted than the old me. So, I think I am heading in the right direction.
Fight the urge for that Cherry Coke! You can do it! How long has it been for you?
And, BobbiJo, there's nothing lowly about a B!
((((((((MB))))))) I am a Principle Multi-Disciplined Engineer! I support a computer-in-the-loop test system for missile software development and integration. Most people at work don't understand me, since I would be perfectly happy if we didn't have to do it. But no one is going to pay me what I make doing anything else, and I need it, for the time being. Some days I want to teach high school math... the advanced track... how strange is that?
In previous lives I wrote software for lasers, and got to go to plants in various interesting places to support upgrades and integration. And I spent some years working on hardware and software for various Radar systems. But the most fun I've had was working on unmanned ground vehicles, doing a lot of electrical design, software, the control system, and lots of integration. That's what I really like, is making stuff work!
I have a feeling the poor men are at a huge disadvantage when you do the blow dry and dress up! Heck, I expect they are at a disadvantage when you don't!
((((((Stacy))))) Five am? Ouch!
I still remember the smell of the mimeograph fluid from elementary school.... nasty, but still nice. Glad you are making progress, and that you are so excited about it! I am sure the parents and kids can feel it, too!
(((((Michelle))))) You just never know what you could miss! Hope you had a good day!
------ Well.... big news! I'm sleeping in W's bed tonight! Oh, but she's going to be sleeping a couple hundred miles away. I'm at her house to get the kids off to school in the morning! It does mean that I won't get quite the jump on the D paperwork that I'd hoped, but I can still start getting the ducks lined up.
I did quite a bit of thinking today.... I realized that I have to get this done, and the sooner the better. I let her abuse me (maybe a strong word, but not by much) for years! My failing was in not understanding what was going on, and putting a stop to it before it became a way of life. But that was probably 20 years ago, so I'm not going to beat myself up over that now. Just not making the same mistakes again!
I am with you, hindsight is 20/20. Sometimes I wish there was a 'rewind' or 'do over' button. But too many good times I wouldn't want to risk losing if I did that...
You have had some fascinating jobs! I still think my favorite job is 'mom', but teaching little ones is good too.
I haven't been cold turkey on the pop thing, but I have it once in a blue moon now. Like at the movies. I am on a meal plan and everything, but when I get to the movies (3 or 4 times/year), I MUST have popcorn and pop. Small pleasure I will not give up just to fit into tinier clothes...
I will be starting in on the paperwork any time now myself. Silly me! Should have done it over summer break instead of waiting until school started.