I was on the beach today and I realized that today ( I know it could be totally different tomorrow), I dont care what H does. And its not like last year when I didnt care because I was seeing someone else, this time I really dont care.

Im through with his crap. If he wants to be M to me then he knows where to find me. Im M until Im not, so Im not going to actively pursue D, Im not going to date, Ill keep wearing my ring, because I am M. But Im through trying. I love him, and I love our life, and I miss him everyday. I hope that he will come home, but if not, I dont really care anymore.

I havent talked to him for 4 days. So maybe that has something to do with it.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...