I've been away on a vaca' for a bit so I haven't kept up. Listen bud, this is a long road. No 2x4's for being accessible. There's a fine line there, but you didn't cross it with that particular interaction.
One piece of advice now, start a journal. Keep track of what gets a positive reaction and do more of it. Keep track of what gets a negative reaction and don't do it any more.
Something else I learned in my travels - when they say believe nothing they say and only 50% of what they do - it isn't completely right. You can ignore the professions of how sure she is that she has to proceed and that there is no other way to a certain extent.
But when she makes actual complaints or points out things she doesn't like you better be all ears. These should be burned into your brain. No temporary fixes with these things.
I see so many cases where people chock everything up to a MLC, learn to spout DB-speak like a native tongue, and figure the H or W will "come to their senses" at some point and never quite get around to working on the things that drove said spouse crazy.
It doesn't work that way. Never has. Never will.
We have all made mistakes in our M's or we wouldn't be here. Face it. Accept it. Do the work. Make permanent changes. You can't change her - true. You can change you. Changing you will change how you interact. How you interact can cause cognitive dissonance in her head, making her less sure.
You have time. Nobody gets a D in a day (despite the late night ads that make me want to hurl) and you have time. Its so much more than GAL. It starts there, but don't lose sight of the fact that she has and is telling you WHY.
I was going to say just my 2 cents, but I think you just got a dime's worth.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
