Young couple in need of help

[SDFoundGirl]

Stop trying to be heard or make a point. She can't hear you. Imagine her like a little girl with her fingers in her ears screaming, "I can't hear you!"

She lobs something at you, and you react like a puppet on a string. It is time to put your big boy pants on and STOP REACTING. You do not have to respond every time she says or does something. This is maturity. The two of you are acting like little kids.

Sorry to be blunt, but newbies like you need to hear the honest truth. We have all been where you are to some degree or the other, we all had to learn the same lessons, and we've all been whacked by 2x4s from the veterans here.

Do you want to be right or happy? Because that's really the choice. You are both fighting for control of the R, and all that gets you is conflict. There can be no fight if one person bows out. It's the physics principle of "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." It works the same way for people as it does for nature.

You're pursuing, pushing, reacting and acting no better than she is. The more you stay on this path, the more you push her away. Do you want to have a chance to save your marriage? Then stop it right now, use some restraint, and start using your head. No actions out of emotion. Table it for 48-hours, and if, in the coolness of your thinking it's still the right action, then you can take it then. It usually isn't.

Have you read DB or DR? Go back and reread every word. Post your questions here. I know it feels counter-intuitive, but it's absolutely the right thing to do.

SD