WAS seeing reality?

[eternaloptimist]

Does anyone have any input on my sitch?

Hi, I've been reading your posts and my heart goes out to you. You sound like a really, really great Dad and I totally loved your text to your wife about the best thing a Dad can do for his kids is love his wife. I couldn't agree more! I've said the reverse to my H. I'm the LBS. My H had two EAs, one was with his therapist. If I could do things over again, I would not have confronted him about the therapist. I know that my take is controversial; some ppl believe that the affair should always be exposed. But I think it depends. In my case, I think my finding out shamed my H so much that he may never be able to reconcile with me. The shame he feels is so great that in his eyes, our marriage is forever tainted. I don't feel that way, but I think he does. In hindsight, I would have let that relationship run its course and I'm sure things would be a lot different for me now. My reaction to H's EA further fed into his reasons for wanting out and made him see me as overly emotional, out of control...when instead it has been my H who has been out of control. I may have reacted in a way that justified his feelings, but it took the focus off of what he did and turned it completely on me. Big mistake IMHO.

I wish I had some better advice for you. Sounds like you are working on GALing and being strong. Have you talked to a coach recently? I had three sessions and they were great. Maybe a coach could help you set some goals?