Just remembered something I wanted to share with you. About a year ago, I kept asking God and the universe to tell me what to do. I kept having dreams that said two things over and over. One was the word heal, (and boy the things I had to heal), the other was the phrase "make your home".
Well, I'll tell you, I almost thought I was nuts. How could I make my home anymore than what it was? I was a perfectionist and constantly working on some home improvement project. I did have a few to finish and I have worked on those but to be honest, I didn't feel like it was doing any good. Other than I was finishing things. Then I read something about making your home in your heart. This was only a few months ago. Boy what a lightening bolt. My home that I needed to work on was in my heart. And I have been working on it (of course I had to heal the issues first, which was why I heard heal first). My relationship with my S has improved tremendously since then and I really didn't think it could get much better. H is talking again, although I put no stock in that, and I am much happier. Much stronger. There is much work to do still but...
So don't throw away what comes to you. Sometimes it takes time to really understand what you are hearing, but like the others said, one step at a time.
You can do it.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
