You read the DB books, right? Michelle talks in there somewhere about the school of therapy she ascribes to... can't remember what it's called, but it short-term and goal oriented. She doesn't think years and years of therapy is necessarily useful. You might come away with a great understanding of how you got the way you are, but not what to do about it. The important thing is to get relief ASAP.
My overactive imagination has me looking at years, my C says up to a year estimated assuming I do the hard work.
Since the initial trauma is over and this is all residual mess that has always been there and is now magnified by my lacking the ability to self-advocate and the complete absence of self-esteem it's a little daunting to think about!!
Just taking one tiny step at a time.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mish, keep seeing that C! And do the work. You are a great person, and there is an even greater person inside, that wants out, if you'll let her. We all see it, you know. I think you even know she's there, but you've been afraid of her. At this point, maybe you can lose that fear. I mean, your H can't leave you! You are the only one you have to please now. And I think your "pleaser" was afraid of what H might do if Mishka came out.
OK, that's about all the amateur psychiatry I think I'd better practice today!
I went to a C for a year. I remember the first time she had me miss a week I was a wreck. Then I went to every other week and then every third week/once a month and I stopped. We both felt I was ready though she kept the door open knowing that the holidays are rough.
Did I solve every problem, no. However, I got a lot of ground work done. Maybe it helped that I was a psych major in college. Who knows? I have lots of issues that I never touched on but I dealt with what was the most important issue at the time. I, like everyone else, am a work in progress.
kat ps: Never did the blame this on your parents game. It was very much let's deal with the issue at hand.
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey, if you watch how long some people wear braces for straight teeth, is a year all that much for being comfortable in your own skin?
I know you can do the hard work - and I agree with everyone here that you are not only worth it, but are a good person, so obvious to all of us, but still hard for you to see/believe. Can you imagine how good things will be when you DO see and believe it?!
Ugh, I meant subscribes to! Your C sounds like she knows what she's doing-- a year is neither too much or too little. I am glad you are taking care of yourself.
good morning..I thought I would join the "this thread won't ever end discussion"
Quote:
"Who was that man you were talking to the other night? You guys looked like you were pretty close and having a nice talk." My response to that......."A very good friend who lets me practice my flirting techniques on him."
BTW, for those of you who have been following along for a while, the man I was talking to was the infamous CG. Dang but he gets cuter by the day darn it! Pretty good to be seen talking very friendly like with him...all 6'2", brown haired, blue eyed, athletically built of him!
next time respond with...none of your business and kiss my azzz.. ....that's right, kill old Gabe with a little kindness
Truly, I can't imagine a life where I like myself. I never in my entire life have liked me so I don't expect anyone else to either. The more I think about it, I think that is why I jumped at the chance to get married and have children (Marc was my only blessing in this life and I'm grateful every day for him even though his father is useless). I had dated a little in high school but Gabe was the only long term (more than 6 months) R I ever had and the thought that I would never have another chance had to have been why I jumped in with both feet even though there were plenty of red flags that I ignored.
The C knows my family background and she sees that my upbringing was not really an issue. I was very supported by my parents and loved incredibly. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that my parents were two of the most loving, wonderful parents anyone could have ever had. Thankfully, that is not an issue.
All of this is within myself and I know that. I really have no idea where it comes from or why it feels so deeply rooted. It just makes no sense but I never have been able to shake it.
Heck! My knees are killing me! Working 3 nights straight with a 4th tonight is killing them. It doesn't help that I spend the last 2 hours of that time climbing step ladders and crawling on the floor straightening shelves. Last night I nearly had frostbite on my fingers from working on the frozen section. The gloves had gone missing.
Y'all have a blessed day!!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
....that's right, kill old Gabe with a little kindness 
...