Rabbitae86, I know. Everyone here knows what you feel like....it's hell. There's no other way to describe it.
But for now, you have to keep fighting and you have to keep that positive mental attitude. (PMA).
Let's talk about this first....what are you doing to Get A Life? It's very important for many reasons. The most important for me was that no matter what happened if I was GALing I would not have to look back and wonder why I spent so many days alone and sad. Don't let this take your life from you. Enjoy your babies. You know how fast they grow up. Please, GAL for you.
The other benefit is that it's sexy. It's a turn on that you aren't at home moping and feeling sorry for yourself and her reaction maybe "Hey, he can live without me....oh crap, I can't let that happen! I'm gonna go have fun with him, he's not doing that without me!"
Make a list of what you do for you.
Then you really really have to concentrate on your time together, even if it's just 2 mins. exchanging the kids to dinner at home as a family, as comfortable as possible. It's doesn't have to be swinging from the roof fun, just comfortable so in the future, those 2 mins. exchanges turns into 30 mins. conversations because she's not worry about a fight and family dinners become more frequent.
When you do invite her to do things, expect she may say no, but when you ask, make it clear "We are going to go do this whether you come or not." Her answer doesn't impact your plans.
You have to be a chef of you now. Meaning you have to make yourself into a gourmet meal millions of women would want to get a bite of....got me? And as you make yourself the best self you can be...the rest will fall in line. You may just save your marriage.
If her choice is to hang out with angry bitter you or happy fun OM....guess who she'll choose? No brainer.
And this will be hard R. I can promise you that. But you can do it.
I've been doing this for 9 months now. And while I will say things have gotten better, I can't say it's gotten easier.
