Everything cpfullofhope wrote is very important for you to understand.
Stop with expectations.
Stop with the R talks. YOU WILL NOT CONVINCE HER OF ANYTHING. Anything you suggest she will take the opposite stance. You say the sky is blue, nope it's black. You say Hi, she says bye.
You are the LAST person to tell her anything. The grocery clerk is going to have more influence over her than you.
Stick to the tactical stuff only for now. That's as close to relationship talk you should get. And the tactical stuff, cars, bills etc. That needs to be established so you both understand the finances and who's picking up the kids, etc. While you're separated, this stuff is still important and needs to be dealt with.
Stop fighting with her. Look, do it just once. Have a nice night with her. Do NOT let her get you in a fight. She says you're stupid, you say, I do have my stupid moments. She says you smell, you say, there are times in the day when I'm not my freshest. She says You're a bad father, you suck it up, you do NOT take the bait, and you say I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't agre with you so maybe in the future, you and I will be able to agree on that since it's important. AND SAY NOTHING ELSE. She has to get you to fight with her so she can tell everyone about the fights. If you stop, she looks like a selfish child having a temper tantrum.
If you want to save this R, you have to stop the fighting. And seriously, isn't that really what you want? Neither of you are going to win. So stop.
