Thanks Peacetoday for your comment and support. I actually applied the same post to the WAS forum yesterday, not sure if that was wise or not to try and keep up in other forums. But as my subject says, I'm just reaching out, it has been a long ride.
I felt my W had moved on w/ someone else early in the separation and maybe while we were still co-existing just from the things she was doing. And that came by way of her heartless nature the day my father had a stroke, just a few days after she left. Out of despair, I called the person closest to me my W, but it was clear we were already strangers.
This fence sitting is something I have never dealt with. My W does not wish to talk about our M but many have told me she has declared that we are already divorced. As I stated, I initiated the dissolution and got no where fast. She has yet to get the forms back to me, which my attorney gave me to merely gather our financial data. Whene I have asked for the forms she would just say that she would get them back to me in a few days. This was the same response to completely moving out of the house.
My thoughts from my post in the WAS forum I feel it applies: At times, I feel really embarrassed about all of this and its gets to me but I manage through God, my faith and this forum. My family and friends I wish to tell or inform wanted me to move on after month 3 b/c of W's behavior after all of our years. She is on the fence as well as I. I have proclaimed many deadlines to move on to myself but I falter. I think its not the moving on, its the starting over; maybe they're one in the same. It would not be a problem finding someone but rather finding someone genuine and true after 10+ years.
It is truly amazing how intertwined a lot of our lives mirror the hardshipes of marriage. I swear I spent hours between the WAS and MLC forums yesterday that I had dreams about the alphabet. Just so much wealth here and true insight that I fight myself about not finding this sooner. I threw myself at the maybe if's and just the same with MC. With that said, I feared the worst maybe a year or more before the separation b/c she was not interested in MC. But hey, I am doing fine and I have a good PMA despite a very bad year.
