Thanks Phoenix for reading and your comment. I had gathered that months ago, I am just not sure why she wishes to not talk about our M, completely move out of the house or why she is proclaiming that we have already divorced to so many. At times, I figured that she was just waiting for me to really push for the D but I gave her papers from my attorney last year to start the dissolution, which was only to obtain and clarify financial information. At times, I feel really embarrassed about all of this and its gets to me but I manage through God, my faith and this forum. My family and friends I wish to tell or inform wanted me to move on after month 3 b/c of my W's behavior after all of our years. She is on the fence as well as I. I have proclaimed many deadlines to move on to myself but I falter. I think its not the moving on, its the starting over; maybe they're one in the same. It would not be a problem finding someone but rather finding someone genuine and true.
It is truly amazing how intertwined a lot of our lives mirror the hardshipes of marriage. I swear I spent hours between the WAS and MLC forums yesterday that I had dreams about the alphabet. Just so much wealth here and true insight that I fight myself about not finding this sooner. I threw myself at the maybe if's and just the same with MC. With that said, I knew it was not the end all to be all but I feared the worst maybe a year or more before the separation b/c she was not interested in MC. But hey, I am doing fine and I have a good PMA despite a very bad year.
