Help - Husband in MLC

[Dawn of Hope]

Hi, Oz,
You're welcome. A lot of people have helped me out on DB and I want to pass it on where I can.

Before I forget, make sure you don't let your H know anything about this board or about DB/DR. In fact, I don't recommend that you let your kids or friends or anyone else know enough to find you on here, because that can become a big problem for you.

You know the drill on your car: don't be nasty about it, just make it clear that you will be keeping it as is (assuming that is what you want). Don't engage with him if he tries to pick an argument about it, and if he gets nasty, bow out of the discussion until he can discuss it calmly. Politely stand your ground.

It would be extremely unusual for you to be getting significant results this soon. I know you don't want to hear that, but I think you also know by now that this is a marathon, not a sprint.

When you were a child, did you have any experience with those toys called Weebles? They were big inflated rubber punching bag things that were shaped like tapered cylinders, weighted on the bottom, so you could knock them sideways to the floor but they would always roll themselves upright again immediately. The tag line was "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down." Well, you need to become like a Weeble. Whatever punches he throws your way may knock you down for a moment, but you will bounce back up again pretty quickly.

Eventually (not soon, but eventually) you will start to see that this time you have to work on yourself is a gift...even if it is wrapped in ugly, dirty paper, even if you didn't want it. You are freed from the necessity of trying to mold yourself into the shape he wants. Now you have the opportunity to work on molding yourself into the shape YOU want.

Peace,
Dawn