Sure. When you don't give a sh!t how your spouse feels and you are confident in your new relationship, that this new man is going to be a big part of your kid's lives, why step back? Keep moving forward. Keep the sleep overs. Minimize the contact with Dad as much as possible.
She's not shutting you out of their lives. And of course his reaction will be a concern, but that's her problem.
When people want out, THEY JUST LEAVE. I've seen it twice with friends of mine. And I've bee told by others who've been divorced for years, when they left, they left. Done and nothing the other spouse said or did made any kind of difference.
All makes sense. She does need me financially right now though. She is living in our house, we both work but I am still paying way more than I would in child support if she had custody, which by the way I would fight against anything less than 50/50 to my last dollar). And she still isnt making ends meet. She says she already feels guilty taking what she does from me. I have padded her account for essentials a few times lately. Even discussed that tonight.
Not sure if any of that's relevant.
Yes, it is relevant. And, Stronger, if you read many, even most of the sitches here, the WASs usually waiver and keep the S in the wings particularly in a case where this W will be worse off financially if the D happens.
I understand that those who are done "just leave" and I think that is true but, the opposite of "done" is not a loving committed secure M. Often, it is limbo and the WAS getting different needs met by two different people. Or perhaps, they are ambivalent or financially insecure or some other issue.
I could be this W in this sitch (minus the kids sleeping over at OM's). My H is gone, hooking up with other women, said he was done etc. But in a few months, if I am with a new guy and he wants back in...oy, I don't think there's much he could do other than be consistent and stable and look like the better choice. But, given my financial dependence on him, I wouldn't want him pulling the wool out and that would certainly temper my behavior whether conscious or not.
