Young couple in need of help

[sumguy27]

I thought I was not suppose to give her any gifts, flowers etc?? Well I did text her today that if she wants to talk about the phone and vehicle issue for her to contact me and about family time. No response yet.

[sumguy27]

Another questions. Should I still seek out a marriage counseling even though I want to go and she doesn't?

[sumguy27]

just got a text back she said when. Maybe a good sign? Well I will not mention the R and keep my mouth shut about it and not bring up other issues like OM(s).

[Stronger]

yeah, hold off on the flowers. I was thinking 180's but that might be much right now.

The text back was good. It's not a sign or anything to be read in to. You sent her a text, she responded.

Counseling. Maybe wait to ask her about it and maybe got to Individual Counseling first (IC). If that goes well and maybe if she sees some positive changes in you you could ask then. Asking the WAS about counseling is a crap shoot. You see some who agree without much resistance and others who are resistant as hell. Mine still won't go.

I think family night is great esp. with such young kids. I know others may disagree, but I think family night is a good time to laugh and be neutral and it shows two people who can put their family first. I think it can lead to putting each other first which should be a goal of yours. My H and I were in pretty good contact the whole time we've been separated but family night was a good time for us because we both focused on S which I think took pressure off of him knowing that I was not going to start conversations about us, I was going to concentrate on making sure we all had fun. It worked pretty well for me, so I like to suggest it to those folks with kids. And while your kids are young, don't underestimate the 2 year olds ability to sense something is off.

[Stronger]

Oh, and when you do talk to her about the tactical stuff, keep it fair. Even when she tries to get ugly, if she does, just remind her fair is your goal.

[sumguy27]

quick question before I had over to the wifes place. What I have been reading in DB is to focus on what has worked in the past for us to have good communication. I love to cook and I know what her favorite dishes are. Should I go over there and cook her favorite dish so it would be easier to have a conversation? When I cook she would sometimes help and we are happy that both of us are in the kitchen working together. Or is it too soon?

[Stronger]

I like it. Love a man who can cook. It's sexy and it means I'm about to EAT GOOD GRUB!!

[sumguy27]

Haven't talked muched with her. Just got done cooking her favorite dish. Thai spicy crab with king crab legs. So far she is enjoying them.

[cpfullofhope]

I like the idea of cooking and family night. Just remember you have to go into it with NO expectation and then you won't end up resentful that you are doing all this stuff and not getting a response. It will take many good meals and time spent with no R talk before you will make head way with her.

Good Job tonight!

[sumguy27]

Damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this crap even worth it!!!!! I told myself I was only going to talk about those 3 things. And when she brought up the relationship I got into it too. DAMMMMMMMM!!!! She is so f hard headed. She says I turn [censored] around and blame her. Wtf!!!! I just wanted her to know the faults between us yet she can't even see past that [censored]. I'm not trying to blame her. I'm not trying to win. I just want a better understanding. [censored]!!!!