Ok 25. I am either sucking at communicating or you skimmed cuz,
A) The tattoo thing was in jest and about a page ago I made the same case for why NOT to get a tattoo, especially in the midst of all this.
B) Anniversary day today is no biggie. The poem was from 3 months ago and I know why I felt that way and I feel much better today. I thought I made that clear...that I have gratitude for what it was.
C) My relative L will charge me $5K for a retainer and $495 an hour so without money, it is not happening right now (I am waiting to find out if something I am trying to sell will pan out)
D) With no money and overhead that is too high, as of this exact moment, I am covered by H. It is not "financial security" and I don't see it as that but I need an exit strategy and I need money to cover me in the interim if H pulls back on me. Again, hopefully the item I am selling will come through. I should know soon or on to Plan B (yet to be hashed out).
E) The work, alimony, assets issues are complex and I have gotten very different takes from two different Ls as to what I can expect and it is a toss up. There are also tax ramifications (H has a corp and pays little in taxes, alimony I receive will be taxable plus other issues beyond my scope). And, H wants to declare bankruptcy...it is complicated. I am eager to get representation so I am not flying blind.
I am SO fine today. I am just doing a regular day of working, straightening up and maybe checking out a meditation class tonight. I don't need to fill my day or be distracted because I am fine. I mentioned the anniversary here because I am not mentioning it to him and I actually found it interesting how much easier it is today than it was just a few months ago.
And, the drama is being handled by moi. If H texts or calls, I don't respond. If he emails (kid or biz related), I do. Short but sweet. And he gave me the money I asked him for today with very little question.
By NO means am I suggesting I have this all figured out. And, there may be drama and I may come on here for advice but the circumstances are complex and I am not a hasty person. It is tough to stagnate and I get your frustration but I am not gonna go off half cocked without representation...I just can't right now.
