I think almost everyone understands the financial dilemma. It's a hard one, and no one can give you the answer. From that standpoint, it's probably good that you are going slowly for now.
I know it is a bit of a broken record thing, but when communication is a big part of the problem, Retrouvaille can really, really, be a help. In my case, not so much, but I could see how it could have been.
I think it would make a lot of sense for you to start out by looking at yourself, and deciding who you want to be, with or without him, and start to work towards that. Whether it is physically, emotionally, mentally, professionally, whatever. Make the changes you'd like to see in yourself, which also has the benefit of taking the focus off of him. And you might surprise yourself, and maybe even him.
