None of us here, regardless of whatever qualifications we have offline, are able to diagnose, assess or undiagnose your W's mental stability. If you do some research on various meds, it can take 1-4 months for the levels to become optimal depending on the person and the med, and that's assuming you get the correct mix and the proper dosage right off the bat. Additionally, all of us, with mental issues or without, function better in certain environments and worse in others. As an example, consider that many of us welcome the workday because it's a place where we feel competent and it's such a good distraction from our marriage issues.
There's a lot of good advice on these boards regarding how to handle various aspect of a troubled marriage, but we are all amatuers here, amateurs and peers. On the issue of whether or not your W is in a strong enough place to handle an ultimatum, please do not rely on any of us (including me! - though I will say straight out that I don't know if she is or not). Please rely on your own knowledge of your W and on licensed mental health professionals with direct, personal knowledge of her, you and your sitch.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
