Hmm, actually, it is entirely possible for someone who qualifies for a clinical diagnosis (major depression, bi-polar, anxiety, whatever) to still be functional in a work environment. In fact, it is common.
I would be hesitant about using her alleged competence at work as a gauge of her overall mental state. That assessment is probably best left to her husband (who sees her in the home environment every day) and to the appropriate mental health professionals.
Dia you're correct, the possibility exists that she has mental problems, I think I even wrote in my post, "correct me if I'm wrong". But when I read blurbs about depression, bi-polar, anxiety, etc. I notice that no one ever questions that how in some social settings, people afflicted with these issues seem to be able to switch off their problems: they can function easily, happily, without any problems. As a social worker, she would know that these issues if they are serious require attention by the correct professionals and may even involve medication. However if they use these same issues as crutches and get out of jail cards so that they can do what they want and have excuses for their behaviors, it's not acceptable.
If you have the ability to function and be normal & happy with certain people, that means you are able to control these issues enough that it doesn't bother you. If you can pursue an intimate/romantic relationship with another person while you have a spouse at home, you are able to switch off your issues long enough to enjoy yourself and then conveniently flick back the switch when you get home so that you can get some sympathy & understanding for your poor behavior & actions, it would appear that you can control it.
Depression, bi-polar, anxiety - these are usually things you can't control and require therapy and sometimes medication.
If I see someone flipping a switch and becoming affected/unaffected by these issues when it's convenient to them, it would seem to me that something else is at play here: specifically lying & untrustworthy actions & behavior.
I don't think it's totally unreasonable that guilt could be motivating any & all of her actions. Something else to consider.
