Mish, keep seeing that C! And do the work. You are a great person, and there is an even greater person inside, that wants out, if you'll let her. We all see it, you know. I think you even know she's there, but you've been afraid of her. At this point, maybe you can lose that fear. I mean, your H can't leave you! You are the only one you have to please now. And I think your "pleaser" was afraid of what H might do if Mishka came out.
OK, that's about all the amateur psychiatry I think I'd better practice today!
