In Limbo

[d1adsl5a]

Hey Fall,

I am not sure how far you are into your mess..But sounds very similar to mine. My W has talked about getting a mediator around three times. Last time was two weeks ago when(for the last time I swear) I posed the relationship question. I got back, I want a divorce. Then she said I don't want a divorce until we can be friends post divorce. I replied that will never happen. She hasn't filed and you know what I don't anticipate her filing anytime soon. I think your H and my W have alot to work out in their heads. If you saw the letter my W wrote to her friends that I posted, you will see she has issues.

Mach and Jimbo's comments about this is their Journey is entirely true. I have made every mistake you can so far. I have included my family and friends. She won't face them anymore. That adds pressue if there is to be a reconciliation down the road. I have held up(just this week again) the I've changed sign.

I do see my W is alone in her mind quite a bit. There is such a wall built around her right now, no emotion is getting out. I know it is in there. Many people think I am the crazy one for staying and saying that I am going to ride this out. That I am the one getting walked on, swallowing pride.

I have 3 sons. I am there only shot at a normal life at this point. We only get one shot in raising your kids. You screw this up, nothing else really matters in life. I am not saying stay together for the kids. I am saying stay together for each other. I don't plan on staying in an unhappy marriage for the rest of my life or living like roommates.

I do feel the same way, that it seems the only way they ever figure it out is if they are sitting in that apartment alone. For the guy however, based on Illinois Law, that would probably be me seeing my kids on the weekends and one day during the week.

I hate this as much as you. I still wake up at 3 am everynight. I still have problems sleeping in the same bed with her. When she isn't around, I sometimes can't even watch our favorite show(Rescue Me)becasue I think all the times we would laugh and enjoy each others company--or so I thought.

I guess what I am trying to say is the life is about choices. I believe love is a choice. Yours and Mine marriages are a choice. I just hope for yours and my sake our spouses choose to Love us again. Love our families again. Love themselves again.....I just wish it would end soon, but it won't. We have to get up everyday and endure this pain and anguish. It is our choice now to continue down this path and to let them continue down their path. Hopefully both ours will meet again someday soon.

Take Care