H with 1foot out the door...LONG

[ginab1966]

Stronger:

Thanks so much for your response. Yes, I know how lucky I am. I have to say that I'm really trying not to over react about this. I know what can still happen and I cannot believe that I've been waiting and waiting for this moment and here it is and I'm so scared that I'm going to blow it. Worse still, what if he says he's going to try and tries and then, he still ends up leaving me. EEEEK. That would be a nightmare. BUT...in the meantime, I'm going to STILL focus on me because I have really, truly seen where my issues lie and I really do need a lot of work. Work that needs to be done not for my marriage but more for myself and so I don't pass all this baggage onto my daughter like my mom did to me.

Thanks for the advice about the boundries. The sangria reference made me laugh out loud and spit water on my monitor. It's the first time I've laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks for that.

The thing with the friend..I have a side of me that is sort of a 'bad girl". He was attracted to that side of me when he met me but then grew to hate it. I'm not proud of this side of me, it's something that I've dealt with for a very long time. this friend is the one I walk on the wild side with. I'm not talking about having an affair or anything but...things are done that I am not proud of and that my husband completely disagrees with. I agree that these activities have to stop and I'm getting help with this "living on the edge" issue. However, this friend and I have a lot more substance to our relationship than what we do. I think there is a way to change the dynamic of the relationship so that we are still supportive friends but not engaging in any activity that is harmful to myself or my marriage.

So, here I go, I'm on my way home and at about 9pm we'll be in the thick of the conversation. Say a prayer for me that I don't completely blow it. I know what a gift/blessing I'm being given. I will not take it, my husband or my marriage for granted.

Thanks....Gina B