Well, he said he wants to try. He wants to lay some ground rules. Let him. Do you know how many people want to get this conversation and have their WAS start it?
Let him start the conversation. Let he say what he needs/wants. For each need/want, ask youself this: Am I willing to do this for the rest of my life?
Examples: I want to ML at least 2xs a week. Can you do that forever? Yes or no?
I want you to make dinner for me every night, promptly at 6:30pm and then you will rub my feet while I drink a glass of sangria you and squeezed all the fruit into followed by a bath where you scrub every inch of my body. Then I sleep in one bed, you sleep in another. Can you do this for the rest of your life? Yes or no?
With the friend...what are his reasons? Not taking his side, but something to think about...it's possible to have an EA with a friend and of course, it never turns into anything, but this friend could be a drain on you, if you will. And I mean to a point where you're all talked about by the time you get home to H or she's the first person you call when something great happens, etc. If that's the kind of thing he's jealous of....well, I won't blame him for that. But if he just doesn't like her hair or how she dresses or she dumped his friend, he needs to get a grip. That will be your call and tell him, if you aren't sure at the very moment, "Can I think about this one? Pls don't be mad or think I don't care because I really do, that's why I need to wrap my brain around it."
Stay calm and realize he's not insulting you....he's just telling you what he thinks he needs. I also would suggest that when you wrap it up, you tell him "I see this as a work in progress, I think we'll make some positive moves forward and we may need to reasses, but that will be a great thing I think." And that way, it's not iron clad and you can leave things open for future discussions.
