My Intro: Thanks for Reading!

[Dia]

Re: D9's Facebook page

FB allows users to block other users from posting on or even seeing their pages. D9 could do this herself if she was so inclined or a parent could do it for her.

[RedSoxFan]

OK, sorry for the continuous streams of small posts.

When I talk to wife about the OM she's going to ask me how she should undo whats already been done. She asked me this before when I commented about her having them over there for sleepovers. She said she didn't want to hurt him. I told her I had no answer but that it was unhealthy for the kids. What should I tell her?? Can she pull the kids back without losing face?

[Dia]

IMHO, her losing face doesn't matter. Doing what's right by the kids is what matters.

Example: "OM, I moved too quickly when I allowed you to become involved with my children. I will be correcting that starting immediately."

If OM gets pissy or if she suffers b/c of it, well, tough. Big Girl Panties time.

[RedSoxFan]

Re: D9's Facebook page

FB allows users to block other users from posting on or even seeing their pages. D9 could do this herself if she was so inclined or a parent could do it for her.

Yes for sure. But should I do it? Will it cause more harm than good. I've gone out of my way to keep the kids out of any of this. I don't want that to get them involved. I'd feel like I'm stooping to the same level that I'm speaking out against.

Thoughts?

[RedSoxFan]

I agree. If she doesn't agree, am I losing ground. Thats the tough question.

[Stronger]

Dude. He's moving in on your wife, already has as she has confessed.

You have EVERY RIGHT to set a boundary around your children. Simple answer: Just ask her every time she turns it around on you....W, how would you feel in my shoes?

[aliveandkicking]

Re: D9's Facebook page

FB allows users to block other users from posting on or even seeing their pages. D9 could do this herself if she was so inclined or a parent could do it for her.

Yes for sure. But should I do it? Will it cause more harm than good. I've gone out of my way to keep the kids out of any of this. I don't want that to get them involved. I'd feel like I'm stooping to the same level that I'm speaking out against.

Thoughts?

9 year olds do not need to be on facebook IMO (predators etc). Anyway to discuss this as a parenting decision and mutually agree to get her off of there? I'm pretty sure there is even an age requirement on facebook...

[aliveandkicking]

Dude. He's moving in on your wife, already has as she has confessed.

He's "moving in on" her?? Sounds like she's perfectly fine with it.

I'd be mighty pissed and way more concerned about the kids than about saving the marriage.

The past is the past. You should take care of yourself and your children and if she gets a clue, great, and if not, you have a good life ahead of you.

Sorry, but a mother involving the kids with OM really pisses me off.

[RedSoxFan]

Dude. He's moving in on your wife, already has as she has confessed.

Yes, he is clearly turning the heat up at this point.

You have EVERY RIGHT to set a boundary around your children. Simple answer: Just ask her every time she turns it around on you....W, how would you feel in my shoes?

I do but if I push too far she will play the divorce card. I thought I was trying to find balance between those two things.

She and I talked about an amicable disillusion from the day I moved out but we never went throguh with it. I didn't want it and she says it didn't matter to her as she felt we were no longer married anyway. Recently when I told her I wanted to save our family OM put pressure on her and she went to start the disillusion paperwork. I asked her if she would hold off on the disillusion and she said yes if I would stay at arms length, stop watching her every movement and stop hassling her about seeing OM. The very next weekend she had kids sleeping over his house thur & fri nights...I raised heck. I told her this was not about my hassling her for seeing him it was about saftey and wellbeing of our children. She cried a lot and agreed to stop sleepovers...but she had to do it one more night (3 nights in a row) because she couldn't back out (he had family emergency and the extended family was in town and there were big plans). I reluctantly agreed. Yuck! It makes me feel terrible to think that our little children have been thrown in like part of the extended family of a man that she has been dating for only weeks.

Anyway, you see my predicament.

[aliveandkicking]

Oy! robx? Gucci?